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Five Questions We Won't Be Getting Answers To Any Time Soon

 

5Qs


1. How Much Is Phil Getting In Appearance Money At Abu Dhabi This Week?

A: Abu Dhabi? What’s Lefty doing in the Middle East? Did they just open an In-N-Out Burger? I guess there’s no limit to how far a guy will go to avoid having to play three rounds with amateurs in Palm Springs. My guess is Mickelson’s getting at least $300,000, payable in jet fuel.

2. What Are The Dues At Augusta National?

A: None of your business. Supposedly members’ bills come once a year, not once a month. And, heaven forbid, if your bill doesn’t arrive in the mail, it means you are no longer a member.

3. Is Jimmy Walker For Real?

A: He is right now. But no other sport elevates its recent winners to exalted status the day after they win an official event more than golf. Come back to me in six months and I’ll tell you how good Jimmy Walker is. Paging Ben Curtis.

4. Whither Lorena Ochoa?

A: She’s married with children and there’s not a whisper of her return to competitive golf. She is the most naturally charming person in golf. She could give lessons to a lot of grumpy major champions who take themselves too seriously. But, no, no one knows if and when the former world No. 1 will rejoin the LPGA.

5. Who Is Bradley Cooper Paying Off?

A: Nobody’s saying. But Cooper has to be the least-talented actor with the best film roles of anybody in recent history. What does this have to do with golf? Absolutely nothing. But Postings is an equal opportunity opinion site. And my opinion here is that without Jennifer Lawrence opposite him, Cooper would be lost. Or as one wag once said: If talent was electric current, he wouldn’t have enough to power a hand tool.

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