JERSEY CITY, NEW JERSEY | The worst thing about slow play in professional golf isn’t J.B. Holmes’ nap-inducing pace, though it ranks right up there and he’s not alone.
The most maddening piece of the perpetually puzzling puzzle is how little seems to change despite the nearly unanimous agreement that tournament golf generally takes an unnecessarily long time to play.
It’s like the old joke about the weather – everybody talks about it but no one does anything about it (and that was before climate change became a thing).
Whether it quickens the PGA Tour’s tempo or not, Brooks Koepka and Rory McIlroy speaking out this week about the slow-play problem is an important step.
The rank and file can gripe and moan all they want but it’s just background noise. When Koepka and McIlroy – Nos. 1 and 2 respectively as these FedEx Cup playoffs begin with the Northern Trust at Liberty National – start barking about the problem, it draws more attention. Perhaps not as much as television partners or title sponsors complaining, but it’s meaningful.
It’s simple. When it’s your turn to play, be ready. Players shouldn’t act like that person in line at Starbucks who decides to sort through the coffee options when it’s their turn to order, creating more gridlock than road work on a busy interstate.
Does it create action?
Not immediately but like car horns in Manhattan, there should be a relentless refrain from players about seriously addressing an issue that irritates everyone but the slow pokes. There are no negatives attached.
It’s simple. When it’s your turn to play, be ready. Players shouldn’t act like that person in line at Starbucks who decides to sort through the coffee options when it’s their turn to order, creating more gridlock than road work on a busy interstate.
If there is no penalty for being ultra-deliberate, there is no incentive for slow players to pick up the pace, although having Koepka on your case might be enough to move some players along.
“I think it’s just gotten out of hand,” Koepka said earlier this week. “It seems now that there are so many sports psychologists and everybody telling everybody that they can’t hit it until they are ready; that you have to fully process everything.
“I take 15 seconds and go, and I’ve done all right.”
Amen, brother.

Golf is a complicated game to be sure but there is no need to overcomplicate it, no matter what algorithm Bryson DeChambeau may offer as proof otherwise.
There is no single cause for slow play, though the dreaded pre-shot routine has exacerbated the problem over the years. There is a single solution – penalize slow play.
Don’t threaten it. Do it.
Tell players on the first tee that they get one slow-play warning. The second time the buzzer goes off, they get docked a stroke. The third time, if there is one, it’s two strokes.
Players can play quickly. Watch them when they’re racing sunset with one hole remaining. They get around in a hurry to avoid that 5 a.m. wake-up call to play one hole the next morning.
“I get that you can take a long time for your thought process, but once you’re done thinking about it, just go. What else is there to do? That’s been the problem I have,” said Koepka, who pointed to an imaginary watch on his wrist while playing with Holmes in the final round of the Open Championship last month.
“I get that we’re out here, we’re playing, and there’s nothing I can do about it, but at the same time, it’s up to the rules officials. What I don’t understand is if I hit in the water, I have to take a penalty stroke. It’s in the rule book. And then you have 40 seconds to hit a shot. That’s in the rule book, too.
“So I don’t want to take a penalty shot … that’s in the rule book. They are all in the rule book. So figure it out and penalize somebody.”
The arguments about why slow play isn’t addressed more aggressively are familiar. It takes a long time to get 156 players around a long, difficult course (fair enough). The pros are playing for their livelihood (yes, but all of them are doing the same thing so it’s the same for everyone). The players and the PGA Tour don’t see it as a big problem (they would be wrong, particularly for fans on site at events).
The PGA Tour has a great product, but it would be better if the pace of play were quicker. Even for fans watching at home, quicker action is better.
The tour and professional golf are not alone in allowing the problem. At most clubs, members talk about getting their greens faster and faster and faster, ignoring the reality that most people don’t putt well enough to handle those surfaces and all the 6-foot comebackers and three-putts significantly slow play.
Koepka, McIlroy and Rickie Fowler can get around a golf course briskly, demonstrating it can be done without all the stepping in and out of shots, glove tightening, book reading and visualization that can feel slower than getting through the Holland Tunnel at rush hour.
“I don’t think it’s fine to do nothing because it’s genuinely a problem in our game,” McIlroy said. “It starts at our level because people try to emulate us. I’ve heard stories of college events and how long they take. There’s no reason why it should take that long.
“For me, I think the guys that are slow are the guys that they get too many chances before they are penalized. So it should be a warning and then a shot. It should be you’re put on the clock and that is your warning, and then if you get a bad time while on the clock, it’s a shot. That will stamp it out right away.
“I don’t understand why we can’t just implement that.”
Preach, Rory.
Time for the choir to join in, too.
Rory McIlroy and Brooks Koepka each spoke out this week on slow pace of play. Photo: Stacy Revere, Getty Images